this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
