Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
