Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
