He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize