The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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