porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
