overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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