u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
