Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
