Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
