So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I will die if light touches me.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
