I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
if only i could text you this smell
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize