nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
