Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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