Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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