just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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