is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
