Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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