life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Still dying that you shit outside
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize