What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
