i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
