You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
