so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
