Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize