i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
