If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
