Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
