our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize