Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
