I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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