I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
