If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
