i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
