You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
