4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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