I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
