I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
