He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
