I bet he comes in French.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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