I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
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