it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The adults are the big ones right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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