the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
