I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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