2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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