where am i from again
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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