i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
