you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
