"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You're like the curious george of whores
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
