i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
