my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
