I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
