Is it because I queefed?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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