Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
