if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish they made helmets for livers.
two words: eviction party
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
