I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Couch. On fire.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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