i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
